Finding the Right POSSSLQ

The wish, the desire, the intention of finding the "right" person to share housing with begins like everything, at the beginning.  First you make the choice and agree you're willing to take the chance to bring into your life the kind of change you want.  When Sharon and I first met over  year ago, I had no idea that sharing a house with another was a viable option.

Like so many others, I wondered how I would go about finding the "right" person. Since then, I have found Anna Marie Pluhar's Compatability Assessment Survey and can surely say it covers some of the most important items where agreement can easily make a positive difference.  I guess you could say I was "damn lucky" but since Sharon and I both feel that way, there seems to have been something else going on in the firmament.  

1/    Begin with taking the survey and record your answers and begin to have the conversation with another.  But hang on to the list, for you may discover your initial responses change over time, and maybe they don't, but it will be helpful to know where you started.

2/   Once you have the list of the "right" characteristics you might want to begin to spread the word.  Sharon (my POSSSLQ) did everything she could to get the word out to as many people as possible - as she has described in out booklet "Elder Living Outside the Box."  The larger the network the greater the opportunity.  For us, it was two mutual friends (relatively long term at that) who knew that there was a match that needed to be made.  You might try thinking of it that way.  How many people are out there who can help me connect with the right person.  I think we're just starting on building this network of people seeking shared housing opportunities.

3/  Our best advice once we connected was to allow the conversation to unfold; trust our gut reactions and be wiling to probe further to discover how the other thinks about all the factors.  The big one for us, was and is the on-going conversation about "intimacy."  Really neither of us said we wanted that really, but  the developing friendship has filled a large hole in my life.  Trusting that this CAN WORK is a place to begin.  



deborah knox